FROZEN MOMENTS NITE JEWEL REMIX

  by silkflowers 

we're saying goodbye we're waving our hands

R.I.P. Trish Keenan

Eyebrows + Beards

Last month I paid $100 for the opportunity to watch NBA games live on the computer for the rest of the regular season. I got the less expensive "Choice" membership, so I don't get to watch every game, just games where the seven teams I chose play. At first I thought it would be cool if it worked like itunes, where only the seven teams I picked got paid, but then one of my teams is the L.A. Clippers and I would be ashamed if I gave any money to Donald Sterling. Anyway, watching 10-15 games a week (they let you watch the old ones whenever you want) has given me a lot of time to consider the various physical choices that players make these days. Tattoos are pretty hard to see in the rush of the game, and surprisingly poorly documented on the internet (can anyone tell me what the backwards text on Wilson Chandler's left shoulder reads?). But you get a lot of time to consider facial hair and grooming. I've started to shape my loyalties to these choices, which I understand is entirely inappropriate. Having yelled at the computer about this for the past several weeks I'm ready to reveal my rankings for the 2010-11 season:

Worst Eyebrows in the NBA

3. Jarrett Jack
I think my dislike of Jarrett Jack stems from his time on the Blazers when I lived in Portland. I could grow to like his eyebrows if he considered changing his mustache.


2. Carlos Boozer


I was totally ready to start backing the Bulls this year until they got Boozer from Utah. Now I hate Derrick Rose because of him.



1. Tony Parker



Just the worst. It doesn't help that he uses his eyebrows so expressively, as he does here in dialogue with a ref. The rumors about him coming to the Knicks last summer gave me nightmares!




Best Beards in the NBA

3. Dorell Wright

Viewed head on, there's not much special about this one. But from the side? Magic! The transition to his fade is really smart, and the sharpest I've seen. Baron Davis ran this for awhile but his headband covered it, making a brilliant decision pointless.


2. James Hardin



The Thunder are pretty much the easiest team in the NBA to like. Throughout high school, Seattle was my #1 team, I wore a green Sonics hat to school every day that probably clashed with all of my clothes. When they relocated to Oklahoma City, I vowed to hate them forever. Watching them play these days, even when I pick at that scab by watching videos of Shawn Kemp and Gary Payton lament that there's no longer a stadium to hang their jerseys in, I can't help but love them. Russell Westbrook gets most of the credit, but Harden's pioneer beard gets the rest of it. Extra credit for always having a tight haircut. Contrast!


1. Ronny Turiaf













Objectively, a great beard, but gets the most points for being such an excellent expression of Turiaf's personality. Unquestionably the best celebrator in the league, and a very funny weirdo. I have to say this screengrab doesn't really do it much justice, but you should check out the video it came from, he really lets you see every angle.

Snow day

The highlight of yesterday was staring out the windows at the desolate icy streets of New York. I don't know how the city was so unprepared for the snowstorm, and maybe other neighborhoods were better cleared, but there was so much snow downtown that it looked like Omega Man. Cars and roads and sidewalks were buried, leaving no way for people to get around. Occasional brave souls stumbled and slid, following the rough tracks left by a rare delivery truck, but for the most part you could pretend it was after the end of the world. It got me thinking about the way that an expanse of snow can make the landscape feel so much more desolate, the vastness that ice creates. I'm pretty sure that people who work in the arctic can go crazy from the unbroken horizon the same way that sailors do.

This desolation has been used to great effect by filmmakers. The suburban loneliness in Let The Right One In definitely benefits from its snowy setting, the same way that the Hoth scenes in Empire Strikes Back let you know how far the rebels will go to hide out. Pretty much the only good thing about Quintet is the setting, with the limitless winter telling a much better story than the script. Below are four snow day picks with enough storms and snow to convince you there's no one left on earth.

1. The Last Winter














This movie rules! Starring both underdog quarterback Matt Saracen and Tami Taylor (coach's wife) from Friday Night Lights, it tells the story of an Alaskan drilling operation that is quickly unraveling due to bad weather, damaged psyches, and something much worse! Their arctic isolation is inescapable, and its hostility nicely mirrors the tangible danger surrounding them. Will scare you without grossout.

2. The Thaw














But if you want grossout... The Thaw is one of those "Ghost House Underground" DVDs that I think make most people skeptical. Low-budget horror is dangerous territory. The Thaw has the added gray area of Val Kilmer, who stars as a scientist doing research in the unforgiving north. The melting ice caps reveal a wealth of specimens, one of which could turn the tide of humanity, leaving Kilmer with a difficult decision. Better than expected, and blood looks really good on snow.

3. Eight Below



Tearjerker! Eight sled dogs are abandoned at an Alaskan fort after an emergency evacuation. It's too dangerous for their human friends to return and rescue them until after the winter, so the dogs much survive the cold and ice for 5 months on their own. After the first few minutes there aren't any people in it at all, just the dogs fighting killer whales and eating reindeer and stuff. Insanely dramatic, a good one to watch on your own. If it meant the world would be like this forever, I'd be totally okay with a new ice age.

4. The Thing














No movie takes better advantage of a winter setting to build fear than The Thing. John Carpenter's study of the claustrophobia of hiding indoors vs. the vulnerability of the snowy wilderness is so powerful the alien is almost incidental. But then the alien rules too and it's like a WIN WIN WIN scenario. I love the story that this movie came out a week after E.T., providing the most ghastly, brutal counterpoint to a family favorite. The best!

2010 ECLIPSE WITH BONUS FEATURE.

I woke up in the middle of the night to catch a glimpse of this. The solstice made the moon appear red. Wow, space...

DON VAN VLIET

When I was in the 5th grade my interest in heavy metal was starting to wane. I began listening to classic rock radio and soon found a record store in the neighboring town that carried vinyl. Around that time I visited my aunt who lived in Queens. One evening while flipping through the channels on her tv, I settled on watching an old episode of Saturday Night Live featuring musical guest Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band. The next few minutes would have a lasting impact on me and the way I thought about music. After that weekend I returned to the record store to ask if they had heard of this man and his band. I ended up buying a copy of Trout Mask Replica and like most people, forced myself to believe I liked this music.  Later, in my late teens I bought a copy of Safe As Milk and it took months or maybe a year until it went out of regular rotation.

SMALL FORTUNE: PETER'S HOUSE MUSIC REMIX

Peter made a phreshhh remix of Small Fortune. The original will be on our new record.

 SmallFortune PHMremix by silkflowers